Interviews with birth parents, adoptive parents & adoptees

Jane | An Adoptee from Virginia

Jane.pngWhen did you learn you were adopted?

My parents told me from the time I was very young. I don’t ever remember not knowing, just growing in my understanding of what it meant.

Do you recall how your parent(s) explained why you were adopted?

They told me they really wanted me, that they chose me, they joked that that they were “stuck” with my brother (their biological child), but they picked me special, as well as my other brother who was also adopted (not my biological brother). When I learned about the birds and the bees, I began to understand more that another person was my “birth-mother.” I have prayed for her over the years, and that she would be reassured that I am alive and well.

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Shawn & Cheryl | Adoptive Parents from Tennessee

38210018.JPGHow did you and your husband come to the decision to adopt?

Both Shawn and I knew that we wanted to grow our family thru adoption. It was something that we quickly connected on. We also knew that we wanted to have a little girl someday and her name would be Olivia. Somehow we’ve always been pretty much in sync when it comes to the important things. We feel so blessed that God had that same plan for us and for our family.

How did you feel when you first met your child's birth mom?

Wow!  Meeting Ali was one of the most exciting and nerve-racking days of our lives. Mad thoughts and nervous energy were top contender emotions! We received “the call” from our caseworker Deasree on January 16th, 2013 with the amazing news that a birth mom named Ali wanted to meet us! It was such an adrenaline rush. Both Shawn and I were at work when Deasree got a hold of us. Needless to say, we couldn’t concentrate the remainder of that day. We were slated to meet Ali the following Monday, January 21st, 2013. Her sister Claire would be with her during our meeting. Even more nerve-racking. Would they both like us?

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Sara | An Adoptive Mom from Texas

image_(9).jpegAs a child did you ever dream that you would one day adopt?

As I child I would have never dreamed I would adopt, but after several years of marriage it became very apparent that God had built us for just that. Jason, my husband, had two cousins who were adopted, and was even adopted himself by his dad. He grew up around family that believed blood had nothing to do with being family. Six years into our marriage, we spent a year and a half taking care of my cousin's two girls. When they were reunited with their parents, and we were without children again, we knew it didn't matter how we became parents. However it took a fertility specialist telling us there were no foreseen options for us to get pregnant before we finally started our adoption journey.

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Ana | A Birth Mom from Texas

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One word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant?

Terrified

Why did you choose adoption?

The second I found out I was pregnant, I knew I couldn’t raise him or her the way I wanted to. The baby and I both deserved better.

What and who played the biggest role in your decision to place your child for adoption?

Finances and my mother. I knew I couldn’t provide everything a baby needs, much less day care. And I refused to accept handouts from my parents. I wanted to be able to support my child.

Pictured above: Ana and her father on placement day with her son.

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Ashley | A Birth Mom from Texas

Ashley.jpegOne word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant?

I felt completely numb, I was most likely going through shock. I found out I was pregnant when I was fifteen at my sophomore year homecoming dance. My best friend held my hand while we read the test. I remember going home and talking to my mom, lying to her about how fun the dance was. After she went to go to sleep, I laid down on the couch for an hour or two and thought to myself. It took me around two weeks to fully process I was pregnant before I was able to tell my parents. After that point, I really realized how terrified and alone I was.

Why did you choose on adoption? What and who played the biggest role in your decisions to place your child for adoption?

I wanted a better life for my child. My father has a big role in that. He and one of his brothers were adopted, and had a wonderful childhood and family life because of that. I wanted my child to have a mother and father who could fully provide financial and emotional support. As my child would have lacked both, I made the choice as a mother to give my child the life they deserved.

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Melanie | An Adoptee from Texas

Melanie.jpegWhen did you learn you were adopted?

I don’t remember a certain moment in my life when I found out, it seems like I have always known.

Do you recall how your parent(s) explained why you were adopted?

I don't recall how my parents told me I was adopted. When I asked my mom she read she the book, The Family That Grew, to me every night. And that makes sense to me and how I just always knew I was adopted, it was just a simple part of my everyday.

Was your adoption open, semi-open, or closed?

Closed

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Danika | An Adoptee from Oregon

Danika

When did you learn you were adopted? 

My parents raised me with the full knowledge that I was adopted, but I didn’t understand what that meant until I was about 5 or 6.

Do you recall how your parent(s) explained why you were adopted?

They explained to me that my birth parents were too young to take care of me (they were only 17 when I was born), so they decided to give me to them so I could be raised in a loving and caring and better-prepared home.

Was your adoption open, semi-open, or closed?

It started out as closed, but I wanted so badly to meet my birth parents that my parents opened it up.

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Heidi | An Adoptive Mom from Minnesota

Heidi.jpegAs a child, did you ever dream that you would one day adopt?

No, but I always knew I wanted children so if that was the path laid out for me I knew I would be open to it.

Why did you choose adoption?

We wanted a family and battled infertility and over the years it became very clear to us that our path was adoption. We feel blessed that adoption is the path we got to go down because it ROCKS!!

Domestic or international?

3 successful domestic adoptions, 1 failed domestic.

Open, semi-open or closed adoption?

We have 3 very different relationships with 3 different birthmothers. Ranging from no contact to very open including texts, videos and visits.

Describe the rewards and challenges of your type of adoption.

Each adoption has been an amazing journey. The biggest challenge has been knowing that not only God entrusted us to be their parents, but so did each one of their birthmoms! (who love them just as much as we do) The biggest reward is knowing that because of the selfless decision their birthmothers made they without a doubt have a life that they wouldn’t have had. All 3 of our sons would not have had a dad involved in their lives and that is an amazing gift that they have been given.

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Roanne | A Birth Mom from New York

Roanne.jpegOne word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant?

Scared

Why did you choose adoption?

I wanted to give my child the best life possible. He deserved more than I could offer at that time of my life. He deserved two loving parents who loved him. He deserved everything in the world.

What and who played the biggest role in your decision to place your child for adoption?

My mom played the biggest role in my decision to place my child. When I told her I was pregnant she told me she would support my decision. But my parents were not going to help me raise a child if I chose to raise him.

What did you think about adoption before you placed? And after you placed?

I only knew a little about adoption. I placed 17 years ago. At the time open adoption was pretty unheard of. I told my mom that I needed to know my child. I couldn’t wonder every time a little boy walked by me if he was my birth child. My mom told me about open adoption and I knew in my heart that was what I wanted for my child. I now know how beautiful open adoption can be. I have been blessed with an amazing open adoption. My birth son has grown to become one of my closest and dearest friends. His family is my family. We are family always and forever.

 

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Makena | A Birth Mom From Idaho

Makena.jpgOne word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant?

Afraid

Why did you choose adoption?

I wanted to give my birth son the best life and family I would want him to have.

What and who played the biggest role in your decision to place your child for adoption?

God, Family, Birth Father, and my life situation.

What did you think about adoption before you placed? And after you placed?

I have always loved adoption, my cousins are adopted. I still love it to this day, now I help other expectant teens and adoptive couples through their journey.

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