...but that is not the end of the story.
From that experience I decided to begin looking for my biological mother, though with no luck because I had a closed adoption. It felt like my dream would never come true. On May 6, 2009 I decided to do a simple white pages search in the phone book. All I had was her maiden last name. I knew she was born in Delaware and so I hoped she still might have some relatives in the state. There are approximately 63 listings in the phone book with her last name. I picked up the phone and dialed the first number. An elderly man answered and I asked him if Donna was there. He said “No.” So then I asked him if he might be related to a Donna Smith, and he replied, “Yes I am… that is my daughter.” My heart began to race and I got chills all over my body. I told him that she might be my birth mother. He was quiet for a few moments. He then informed me that yes, his daughter did place a baby for adoption a number of years ago. By this time I was crying. I had miraculously found her, and I ended up calling my grandparents’ house, the place where she grew up. It was only one hour away from where I lived. When my grandmother got home, she called me back and said that she just got off the phone with my biological mom, and she wanted to meet me. That she had been praying for this for a really long time. She told me that every year on my birthday she would think about me.
When you love someone unconditionally, you do what is best for them, not yourself. It was hardest lesson I ever learned - placing my daughter for adoption.
It was also the best thing I have ever done and a huge testimony builder. Early in 2008, a Utah family prayed and told the Lord they felt that their family was not yet complete. They had no idea that their prayer would soon be answered. The next night the couple received a phone call about a young woman in Delaware that was pregnant and thinking about adoption.
I found out in the beginning of February 2008 that I was pregnant. I was a young 20-year college student not ready to be a mother. I was so nervous to tell my parents. They had raised me with strong Christian morals and values. My parents were disappointed but supported whatever I would choose. Adoption was already a big part of my life since I was adopted by my parents as a small baby. I knew the blessings that came from adoption, yet at the same time during my teenage years, I found myself upset and angry with my birth mother (who I never knew) for placing and not wanting me. I know now how wrong I had been. I began to weigh all of my options.