Interviews with birth parents, adoptive parents & adoptees

Melanie | An Adoptee from Texas

Melanie.jpegWhen did you learn you were adopted?

I don’t remember a certain moment in my life when I found out, it seems like I have always known.

Do you recall how your parent(s) explained why you were adopted?

I don't recall how my parents told me I was adopted. When I asked my mom she read she the book, The Family That Grew, to me every night. And that makes sense to me and how I just always knew I was adopted, it was just a simple part of my everyday.

Was your adoption open, semi-open, or closed?

Closed

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Danika | An Adoptee from Oregon

Danika

When did you learn you were adopted? 

My parents raised me with the full knowledge that I was adopted, but I didn’t understand what that meant until I was about 5 or 6.

Do you recall how your parent(s) explained why you were adopted?

They explained to me that my birth parents were too young to take care of me (they were only 17 when I was born), so they decided to give me to them so I could be raised in a loving and caring and better-prepared home.

Was your adoption open, semi-open, or closed?

It started out as closed, but I wanted so badly to meet my birth parents that my parents opened it up.

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Heidi | An Adoptive Mom from Minnesota

Heidi.jpegAs a child, did you ever dream that you would one day adopt?

No, but I always knew I wanted children so if that was the path laid out for me I knew I would be open to it.

Why did you choose adoption?

We wanted a family and battled infertility and over the years it became very clear to us that our path was adoption. We feel blessed that adoption is the path we got to go down because it ROCKS!!

Domestic or international?

3 successful domestic adoptions, 1 failed domestic.

Open, semi-open or closed adoption?

We have 3 very different relationships with 3 different birthmothers. Ranging from no contact to very open including texts, videos and visits.

Describe the rewards and challenges of your type of adoption.

Each adoption has been an amazing journey. The biggest challenge has been knowing that not only God entrusted us to be their parents, but so did each one of their birthmoms! (who love them just as much as we do) The biggest reward is knowing that because of the selfless decision their birthmothers made they without a doubt have a life that they wouldn’t have had. All 3 of our sons would not have had a dad involved in their lives and that is an amazing gift that they have been given.

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Roanne | A Birth Mom from New York

Roanne.jpegOne word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant?

Scared

Why did you choose adoption?

I wanted to give my child the best life possible. He deserved more than I could offer at that time of my life. He deserved two loving parents who loved him. He deserved everything in the world.

What and who played the biggest role in your decision to place your child for adoption?

My mom played the biggest role in my decision to place my child. When I told her I was pregnant she told me she would support my decision. But my parents were not going to help me raise a child if I chose to raise him.

What did you think about adoption before you placed? And after you placed?

I only knew a little about adoption. I placed 17 years ago. At the time open adoption was pretty unheard of. I told my mom that I needed to know my child. I couldn’t wonder every time a little boy walked by me if he was my birth child. My mom told me about open adoption and I knew in my heart that was what I wanted for my child. I now know how beautiful open adoption can be. I have been blessed with an amazing open adoption. My birth son has grown to become one of my closest and dearest friends. His family is my family. We are family always and forever.

 

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Makena | A Birth Mom From Idaho

Makena.jpgOne word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant?

Afraid

Why did you choose adoption?

I wanted to give my birth son the best life and family I would want him to have.

What and who played the biggest role in your decision to place your child for adoption?

God, Family, Birth Father, and my life situation.

What did you think about adoption before you placed? And after you placed?

I have always loved adoption, my cousins are adopted. I still love it to this day, now I help other expectant teens and adoptive couples through their journey.

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Duane | A Birth Father from Texas

Duane.jpgOne word to describe how you felt the moment you learned about the pregnancy?

Disbelief.

Why did you choose adoption?

My wife and I chose adoption because we could not financially take on another child.

What and who played the biggest role in your decision to place your child for adoption?

What? Finances and having two babies ten months apart already. Who? My wife.

What did you think about adoption before you placed? And after you placed?

Before, although I was supporting my wife's decision, I wasn't going to show any negative thoughts nor grief. I guess it's the way I was raised, but I thought only horrible, selfish, and trashy people placed their child for adoption. After meeting with the adoptive parents and after I learned more about adoption I realized Gods plan. I realized it takes a true angel, someone with enough love for their child to give them a better life.

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Catarina | A Birth Mom from Alabama

Catarina.jpgOne word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant?

Anxious

Why did you choose adoption?

To give her more than I could, a mommy and daddy who were together, a whole and stability family.

What and who played the biggest role in your decision to place your child for adoption?

My unborn child played the biggest role. I loved her more than anyone or anything. I wanted to provide her with the things I could not have while growing up. My parents were divorced. The guy I call dad had adopted me, my birth father was never around. I wanted her to have two parents who love more than anything. I didn’t want her to feel empty.

What did you think about adoption before you placed? And after you placed?

I thought that I could never do it. I never thought I would have it in me to do that. After, I placed I realized that love is why parents choose to place.

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Amy | A Birth Mom from Jackson

Amy_Wall.jpegOne word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant?

Devastated, absolutely lost, NO one understood nor would they try to understand….to help.

Why did you choose adoption?

I am adopted and know firsthand the gift of unconditional love.

What and who played the biggest role in your decision to place your child for adoption?

I think my own life helped me make the choice, my adoptive parents are wonderful and helped show me true love in everything. From the time I stepped into the Home for Unwed Mothers, I knew the choice was mine and had made up my mind.

What did you think about adoption before you placed? And after you placed?

I am so grateful for adoption. As previously stated, I am also adopted, so I am most thankful for the process and the life it has given to me. I knew the road after I gave my son up would be hard, lots of secrets, unexplained time, catching up on college, but I knew I could do this part as much as I knew my Son had the opportunities to lead an incredible life that I could not give him.

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Miranda | A Birth Mom from Texas

Miranda.pngOne word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant?

Terrified

Why did you choose adoption?

I chose adoption because everything kept pointing to adoption. Before I found out I was pregnant people around me were talking about adopting, all the quotes I saw on Pinterest were about adoption. When I went to get proof of pregnancy, the center I was at talked to me about adoption and led me to a support group for single pregnant women. I learned there that one of the leaders was adopting and she shared her story with me. She also introduced me to the birth mother who shared her story with me. I truly believe God pointed me to adoption.

 

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Rebecca | An Adoptee from New York

Rebecca_T.jpeg

When did you learn you were adopted?

I have known for as long as I can remember. My parents tell me, “there was never a time when we did not tell you, you have known from the beginning.”

Do you recall how your parent(s) explained why you were adopted?

They always had books that were age appropriate when I was a toddler. Whenever we talked about family and love, they always told me how I came about and used the word adoption.

Was your adoption open, semi-open, or closed?

It was a closed adoption. I was adopted in Bergen County, NJ through Bethany Christian Services. The only information my parents and I were given was a sheet of non-identifying information. It had my birth mom’s first name, her date of birth, her occupation and her education. New Jersey was not allowed to release the birth mother’s last name to anyone.

Have you ever met your birth mother or birth father? If yes, what was that experience like? If no, what would you want to say if given the opportunity?

This is an interesting question for me. My mother passed away in 1999, but in 2013, I found her picture on Classmates.com. When I saw her, I knew it was my birth mom, Joan Chanowski. It was my high school picture staring back at me. Sad, happy and nervous emotions rushed over me in a matter of seconds.

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