Interviews with birth parents, adoptive parents & adoptees

April | A Facebook fan from Texas

April.JPGWhat's your connection to adoption?

My cousin is adopted. I work with parents who have children with special needs. Some of the parents adopted their children or foster parent.

Why are you interested in adoption / BraveLove / birth mothers?

I love reading the letters that are on the BraveLove website. Reading each one, and all from different points of views, are sure to bring tears to your eyes! Being a mother has made me realize, even more now, how brave and difficult that decision would be to make.

Read more
Share

Gerrianne | A Birth Mom from Texas

Gerrianne.jpgOne word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant?

Devastated

Why did you choose adoption?

I've always been pro-life, yet I was definitely put to the test when I found out I was pregnant. Adoption seemed to be the best option as I loved my baby and wanted him to have more than what I could provide. I was a single mother, with three small boys. I was living on public assistance, in low-income housing, with plans to begin college in the Winter Semester. I was also very angry at the baby's father, and mad at myself for the choices I had made. I wasn't a teenager, I was 29 years old and should have known better. The thought of raising another child with the feelings I had concerned me. I didn't know how I could emotionally handle another child.

Who played the biggest role in your decision to place your child for adoption?

A dear friend of mine called me and asked what my plans were. No one else had been so bold to ask. She started the wheels in motion. My friend was a professional in the child-welfare system, and she happened to have received a biography from her sister in Colorado, who was friends with the prospective adoptive couple, Mike and Lindsey. She said she didn't know why her sister sent her the biography, but it had been sitting on her desk for two weeks. She asked if I'd like to see the biography and the picture of them. I told her I would. While waiting for biography to come in the mail, I spoke to my pastor and he confirmed that adoption was the right decision.

Read more
Share

Lilly | An Adoptive Mom from Texas

Lilly.JPGAs a child, did you ever dream that you would one day adopt?

Adoption was always something I felt called to and loved hearing about growing up. Over the course of my life, through people I knew, stories and personal experience, I learned that family is the most important thing we have in life and it is comprised of more than our DNA. Some of the best people in my life have been added through fate and I find adoption to be the same for one of our most powerful relationships between a child and parent.

Why did you choose adoption?

My husband Markus and I spent the first weeks of dating talking all about our lives, our dreams for the future and what we wanted our families to look like. I was so excited when adoption was something he was also called for. We originally talked about it a lot as something we would do to add to our family, but the more we talked about it the more we knew it was truly the way our family was meant to grow. Markus and I are so different from each other which is what makes our relationship thrive. We knew a baby that was just as unique as we are would be the perfect addition to our family.

Read more
Share

Sarah | A Birth Mom from Virginia

Sarah_Int.jpgOne word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant?

Fearful

Why did you choose adoption?

I knew that my parents were going to be upset that I was pregnant, and I had serious doubts that they would offer me support. I knew that without their support it would be nearly impossible for me to parent. Even if they had offered me support (which they didn’t) I also knew that moving back in with them would be chaotic and volatile; I didn’t want my child to grow up in that environment.

Read more
Share

Melissa | An Adoptive Mom from New York

Melissa_Int.JPGAs a child, did you ever dream that you would one day adopt?

No, I didn't but now, I wouldn't have it any other way!

Why did you choose adoption?

My husband and I tried to have children naturally for a couple of years without success. We finally went to an infertility specialist and after two more years of appointments, needles, tests and tears we still had no answers. We gave up hope...decided to just be the two of us. Fast forward 10 years and our hearts still ached for a child to love. My mom mentioned adoption, and I seriously looked into it for the first time. What an eye-opener! We found a small agency that was a great fit for us and now we have our beautiful son.

Read more
Share

Hannah | A Birth Mom & Adoptee from Texas

hannah.jpgOne word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant?

Shock

Why did you choose adoption?

I chose adoption because I knew the life I wanted to give my child was different from what I could truly give her.

Who played the biggest role in your decision to place your child for adoption?

My parents were my biggest role models. Since they have been adoptive parents themselves with me and my four other siblings, I knew the positivity of adoption. I also know adoptive parents love their children just as much as biological parents would.

How did you perceive adoption before you placed? And after you placed?

Before placing for adoption I had already known a lot about adoption. Being adopted myself, it was almost just a natural understanding in my life. I didn’t know any different. I thought adoption was all happy. Now having placed I know adoption is every emotion rolled into one amazing decision.

Read more
Share

Jenny | An Adoptee from Ohio

jenny2012.jpgWhat's your connection to adoption?

Adoptee, adopted at birth.

When did you learn you were adopted?

I don't ever remember having an epiphany about being adopted - I just always knew. I think my family had a few children's books about adoption, but I don't remember having a detailed conversation with my parents about it. We celebrated "Adoption Day", which I've also heard called "Gotcha Day" - the day our adoptions were finalized. It was like having a second birthday!

Do you recall how your parent(s) explained why you were adopted?

My brother and I always knew that our birth parents couldn't provide for us, so they placed us with our adoptive parents (who were unable to have biological children) to give us opportunities that we wouldn't have had otherwise. We also knew (and never doubted) that our birth parents' decisions were out of love.

Was your adoption open, semi-open, or closed?

Closed.

Read more
Share

Terri | A Birth Mom from Kansas

Terri.jpgOne word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant.

Expectant.

Why did you choose adoption?

As a stubborn first-born, I wanted certain things for my child. I wanted her to have a two-parent family, like I had, and to have opportunities like college. I knew as a single mother who had not even finished high school, I could give her none of those things.

What's been the hardest part of being a birthmother?

For a long time, it was not being able to own up to the fact that I was a mother. Things like Mother's Day was like hell on earth for me. Now that I have my own children, I can lump in my birth daughter and receive the recognition for being a mommy.

Read more
Share

Barbi | A Birth Mom Who Inspired a Novel

Barbi_and_daughter.jpgTwenty-two years ago, New York Times bestselling author, Patti Callahan Henry’s sister Barbi placed a baby girl for adoption. Then in April 2010, a Facebook request put an end to all the waiting and wondering. It’s time to hear the true stories that inspired Henry’s fictional novel And Then I Found You. Enjoy our series of Q&A’s with Barbi and Patti.

You were 23 years old. One word to describe the moment you discovered you were pregnant.

Fear.

Why did you choose adoption?

Actually, I chose adoption very late in the pregnancy. By the time it was finalized, I was within three weeks of my due date. The decision was a process that started when I was about seven months pregnant. I was working with a counselor and looking at my options, which helped me realize that I wasn’t in an ideal situation. I didn’t want to continue making the selfish choices that led up to the pregnancy and I didn’t want my baby to start her life without a ‘full’ family, since I wasn’t planning on getting married to the birth father. Her future would always have her caught between his future life and marriage, as well as mine.

I was walking on the beach - working through the pros/cons of what to do and how to do it. It was literally just a God moment. “Of course this is what I have to do,” I spoke out loud. I went back and immediately set the wheels in motion, calling my counselor and setting up interviews. It was a turning page and I knew that [adoption] was the right thing to do. No choice was easy…I felt that it was the best thing for my baby, for her future.

Read more
Share

Patti | A New York Times bestselling author

Barbi_and_Patti.jpgWe're continuing our series of Q&A's with the Callahan sisters. If you're just now jumping in, make sure to first read Barbi's story Part 1 so you can fully understand the true story that inspired her sister's novel "And Then I Found You".

Part 2: Meet Patti…

What was it like when you found out your sister was pregnant?

I was almost 25. I was a nurse. The [birth] father was one of my dearest friends so between me being a nurse and him, my sister told me first. I went with her to the doctor, and then I actually told my parents. She had me tell them. It was a long time ago, and I’ve probably emotionally blanked a lot of that out. I remember it was emotional, we were crying, and it was hard. But it didn’t seem to me the end of the world, probably did to her. I knew that these were smart, loving people who would figure out the right thing to do… It was just a difficult situation with smart, loving people. And I knew that. I knew there would be a lot prayer, a lot of talk, a lot of counsel. Everybody would figure out the right thing to do…

One word to describe that moment you found out your sister was pregnant.

Scared. I was really scared for her. I knew she was a very big planner. I knew that this was not in her plan.

Read more
Share