Interviews with birth parents, adoptive parents & adoptees

Logan | An Adoptive Mom from Texas

As a child, did you ever dream that you would one day adopt?

From a very early age I remember saying I was going to adopt.

Why did you choose adoption?

Since I can always remember I've wanted to adopt but before that I wanted to be a mother. I knew that at some point in my life I'd add to my family through adoption. We were blessed to grow our family through adoption after many years of infertility. Amazingly, on the day we grew our family by one through adoption we learned we would add another 9 months later, we were pregnant.

Domestic or international? Open, semi-open or closed adoption?

We choose to pursue a domestic adoption. Our adoption started out as semi-open but feel it has progressed to open or close to it. We love that we have the ability to communicate with our daughter's birthparents. It is so neat to see through their eyes their reactions to the miracle they created as she grows and accomplishes amazing and wonderful things.

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Brooke | An Adoptee from Texas

Brooke.jpgDo you recall how your parent(s) explained that you were adopted?

I do not remember their word for word, but I do remember feeling like I understood what it meant to be adopted.

Was your adoption open, semi-open, or closed?

Closed

If you could dispel an adoption myth - would would you say?

One myth I'd like to dispel is: It is ok to talk about being adopted and the emotions you go through. Not every adopted person has negative feelings about their birth family.

Have you ever met your birthmother or birthfather?

I met my birthmother a few years ago.

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Tamra | A Birth Mom from Utah

One word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant.

Numb

Why did you choose adoption?

Adoption was the right choice because my Justin has more and better than what I could have provided. I would have been good, they were better. I would have been enough, but enough WASN'T enough for him. Because I'd had more. You want your children to have better, not worse than what you've come from. Because research proves what common sense teaches, that fathers matter. These are some of the reasons adoption was right but I couldn't see it, couldn't get over myself and consent to break my own heart, until God showed me...Justin wasn't mine, he was theirs.

What's been the hardest part of being a birthmother?

Because I placed my son in the mid 90's, I don't have an open adoption. It still hurts. I miss that family. I think the hardest part for me is being estranged from my loved ones.

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Julie | An Adoptive Mom from Texas

Julie.jpegAs a child, did you ever dream that you would one day adopt?

Growing up, I did not know anyone that was adopted and really had no exposure to the idea.
Why did you choose adoption?

My husband and I married later in life and knew that getting pregnant on our own was not likely -- we decided to take the adoption route instead of lots of infertility treatment.

Domestic or international? Open, semi-open or closed adoption?

Both of our boys are adopted and both were domestic and semi-open. We met both birthmothers before delivery and send pictures and letters to them regularly. Our older son, who is now 9, met his birthmother when he was 4.

If you could dispel an adoption myth - would would you say?

I believe that most adoptive parents want the best for the birthmother not just themselves. We tried hard to be certain that the birthmothers had time with the babies before placing them for care with us. We truly wanted both birthmothers to feel as though it was the right choice for everyone -- the triangle of love -- the birthmother, the adoptive family and the baby.

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Nacole | A Birth Mom from Texas

Nacole.jpgOne word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant.

Shocked

Why did you choose adoption?

I chose adoption for a couple of reasons. I had my tubes tied after having my third child. I later found out that getting my tubes tied did not protect me from getting pregnant because I was 3 months pregnant. I knew there had to be a reason as to why I had gotten pregnant. I trusted and believed in God’s words to me and that was adoption.

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Matt | An Adoptee from Texas

Matt.jpgWhen did you learn you were adopted?

I have always known I was adopted. My (adopted) parents never kept it a secret.

Do you recall how your parent(s) explained why you were adopted?

I remember there being a funnily illustrated book about what it meant to be adopted. I can remember my mother taking the time to sit with me and read it. She was very serious and I could tell she was nervous, but I remember thinking I already knew I was adopted and it just didn't seem like it was a big deal.

Was your adoption open, semi-open, or closed?

My adoption was closed. I know my birthmother's name, but that is all the information I have. My dad told me he only met her once and my mom never met her as far as I know.

If you could dispel an adoption myth - what would you say?

First, and this might come as a shock to some people, but most of us adopted kids know we were adopted. I always laugh at how uncomfortable it makes some people when I tell them I am adopted. They act like I am not really supposed to talk about it or something. But it's me, it's where I came from. It is my heritage and my story. I wear it as a badge of honor for me and my birthmother.

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Anna | An Adoptive Mom from Illinois

Anna.JPGAs a child, did you ever dream that you would one day adopt?

I honestly never envisioned myself adopting as a child--I always envisioned being a mom by birth. When my husband, Mike, and I encountered some issues getting pregnant with our oldest, Ben, that's when I realized that it mattered more to me to parent a child who needed a family than to go through extreme measures to have a child be biologically tied to me. We were fortunate to become pregnant with Ben not long after, but it was wild to have that sense of knitting our family together become a reality a few years later.

Why did you choose adoption?

Nearly five years ago, Mike and I were blessed with and then had to say goodbye to our first daughter, Sarah, and her traumatic birth left me permanently barren. There were so many layers of feelings and so many different sensations of ache. We knew how incomplete our family felt and how much love we still had spilling over. We wanted to parent again so very much. So we took the time to grieve our sweet girl, to heal our hearts and mend our spirits, and prepare for this new journey in front of us.

My husband and I never felt entitled to anyone else's baby or that someone should stay pregnant and birth their child for us, just because we no longer could have one of our own. We knew there were many choices that felt best for each woman and we wanted to connect with someone who felt that adoption was the right choice for *her* and her baby. It was never an expectation--just a huge hope.

Domestic or international? Open, semi-open or closed adoption?

We researched all the different paths to adopting a child and ultimately felt drawn to domestic newborn adoption. We longed to experience all of the rites of passage that come with raising a child from his or her beginnings, even the crazy, sleepless nights!

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