Time really does fly. We can hardly believe that 2013 has come and gone. As we enter 2014, here are some of our hopes and resolutions for the year ahead plus one of our favorite articles to date. In 2014, we hope to...

Meet Ashley, our friend and founder of Blessings in a Basket. Ashley describes life as a birth mom. 

Recently I had the great opportunity to participate in a community adoption event. As I took a step back to watch and listen to all the amazing people around me, brought together to celebrate and to bring awareness, I found myself getting emotional. I was so overwhelmed by this giant family that I was now a part of all because of a decision that I made many years ago.

Looking back over the past 8 years it always comes at such a shock to me - this is my life.

One word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant?

Fearful

Why did you choose adoption?

I knew that my parents were going to be upset that I was pregnant, and I had serious doubts that they would offer me support. I knew that without their support it would be nearly impossible for me to parent. Even if they had offered me support (which they didn’t) I also knew that moving back in with them would be chaotic and volatile; I didn’t want my child to grow up in that environment.

One word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant.

Expectant.

Why did you choose adoption?

As a stubborn first-born, I wanted certain things for my child. I wanted her to have a two-parent family, like I had, and to have opportunities like college. I knew as a single mother who had not even finished high school, I could give her none of those things.

What's been the hardest part of being a birthmother?

For a long time, it was not being able to own up to the fact that I was a mother. Things like Mother's Day was like hell on earth for me. Now that I have my own children, I can lump in my birth daughter and receive the recognition for being a mommy.

Twenty-two years ago, New York Times bestselling author, Patti Callahan Henry’s sister Barbi placed a baby girl for adoption. Then in April 2010, a Facebook request put an end to all the waiting and wondering. It’s time to hear the true stories that inspired Henry’s fictional novel And Then I Found You. Enjoy our series of Q&A’s with Barbi and Patti.

You were 23 years old. One word to describe the moment you discovered you were pregnant.

Fear.

Why did you choose adoption?

Actually, I chose adoption very late in the pregnancy. By the time it was finalized, I was within three weeks of my due date. The decision was a process that started when I was about seven months pregnant. I was working with a counselor and looking at my options, which helped me realize that I wasn’t in an ideal situation. I didn’t want to continue making the selfish choices that led up to the pregnancy and I didn’t want my baby to start her life without a ‘full’ family, since I wasn’t planning on getting married to the birth father. Her future would always have her caught between his future life and marriage, as well as mine.

I was walking on the beach - working through the pros/cons of what to do and how to do it. It was literally just a God moment. “Of course this is what I have to do,” I spoke out loud. I went back and immediately set the wheels in motion, calling my counselor and setting up interviews. It was a turning page and I knew that [adoption] was the right thing to do. No choice was easy…I felt that it was the best thing for my baby, for her future.

This year we’ve become friends with the founder of Blessings in a Basket Ashley Mitchell. Ashley spends her days loving on her children, leaning on her husband and reaching out to women who, like herself, found themselves at a crossroads and chose adoption. She is the founder of a non-profit birth mom community called Blessings in a Basket. She is a die-hard college football fan, covets anything from Tiffany, and thinks that snow is the most magical and sparkly thing in the world!

Without further adieu, here’s Ashley:

It was a winter afternoon during Christmas break that I discovered I was pregnant. Mom and I had been Christmas shopping together but immediately when we split to do our own thing, I dashed to buy a pregnancy test.

Although I was fairly confident that I was pregnant, the positive pregnancy test staring at me in the JC Penney bathroom that afternoon took me by surprise. I was 22 years old and a sophomore in college when I got pregnant with my son. He was born on August 29th, 1991 at 5:10 p.m., and I placed my son into the arms of a loving family two days later.

I dated Danny, my son’s father for a year but our relationship had come to an end shortly before I discovered that I was pregnant. He was already dating another girl and chose to stay with her. I dropped out of school, moved to California, and found support among friends there. And although I had their support, those remaining months were excruciatingly lonely and very painful for me. I longed to hear from my son’s father. I yearned to have him experience this pregnancy with me. And although my mom had come to stay with me during my last month of pregnancy and be there for the delivery, my heart ached for Danny.

Once there were two women
Who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,
The other you call mother.
Two different lives
Shaped to make yours one.
One became your guiding star,
The other became your sun.

Last week, we received two open letters from one birth mother (we’ll refer to her as “Mummy”). Mummy relinquished her son Seth when he was 2 1/2 years old. She shared two letters with us: one she wrote about his placement day and the other on his 13th birthday. Her words are poignant, honest and profound. Immediately after reading, we knew her story needed to be shared for a couple of reasons: 1) to better convey the sacrifice Mummy and other birth mothers make when they choose adoption. And 2) to encourage other birth mothers that you aren’t alone. We don’t take this lightly. We’re honored to get to know Mummy and listen to her story and others.

“I would be honored to share my story. There have been many ups and downs. I am grateful that I can say I have never regretted my decision as being the best for my son. But, I do think that after all this time I am in a place where it is easier for me to tell…because if [reading other stories on BraveLove.org] has helped me then perhaps some of my story will help someone else as well.” - Mummy

Now it’s time to read her first letter to Seth. Once you finish, read the second letter here.