As reflected perfectly in the symbol for the adoption triad, adoption consists of three parties coming together from opposite angles to meet at the intersection of a unique kind of love.

"I also played a part in completing a family that could not have done it without me." #BraveLove

I was a single mother, with three small boys. I was living on public assistance, in low-income housing, with plans to begin college in the Winter Semester. I was also very angry at the baby's father, and mad at myself for the choices I had made. I wasn't a teenager, I was 29 years old and should have known better. The thought of raising another child with the feelings I had concerned me. I didn't know how I could emotionally handle another child.

Last Tuesday, BraveLove joined a webinar called "A Birth Mother’s Heart," which was hosted by one of our wonderful partner agencies, Lifeline Children's Services. Two inspiring women, Katie and Deborah, shared their stories. Though from different circumstances, these women had one common thread weaving them together – they each placed a child for adoption.

I attended an adoption conference. For the first session, I chose “Adoption Reunions.” Really… can you ever hear enough adoption reunion stories? As I took my seat in the second row, I couldn’t figure out the dynamics of the panel in front of me. Two younger women, two older women and an older man. As the session started, they were introduced… adoptee, birth mom, adoptive mom, birth mom’s husband, and birth mom’s daughter. Hold on… husband of the birth mom?

I never dreamt that we could place a baby for adoption and still get to be a part of their life. Making the first of several major decisions, my boyfriend and I jumped right into counseling sessions...

"Not every child who is adopted was unwanted. I believe there is only love in adoption. Even if the birth mother can’t say it or see it, there is only love." #BraveLove

"I thought my life was over, but little did I know, it was just beginning." #BraveLove

While a birthmother’s experience after placement may be different in open versus closed adoptions, the process leading to the choice of adoption is much more likely to follow the same thread – love.

When I was growing up and planning my future, becoming a birth mother was never discussed with my guidance counselor. I would talk with friends about what we would “do” if we ever got pregnant. Abortion was never an option; raising it would be hard but maybe adoption would be a good choice. I have learned a few things since those days, the simpler days.