Birth Mom Finding Peace - Leah's Story

"...Adoption is beautiful and we birth moms deserve to find peace, too."

My adoption story starts very abruptly. I gave birth to my son Harlynn in December 9th 2021. The love of my life, our other 2 children; our son Weslynn (7 years old) and our daughter Komberlynn (2 years old), and the rest of his family were eagerly awaiting his arrival. He arrived at 6 LBS even and a HEAD FULL OF HAIR!!! An absolutely perfect ending to the beginning of the rest of our lives. Well, it all fell apart very rapidly for personal reasons. I was faced with very limited options for myself and Harlynn so I started researching and found Gulf Coast Adoptions. I was contacted almost immediately by a very sensitive, respectful, and very loving woman from the agency answering every question I had, at what ever time I thought of it. She sent me the profiles of a few families and insisted I look at them only when I was ready and there was no rush. So, sitting in the bed with my infant son laying on my chest I started what I thought was going to be nearly impossible. Looking at the first profile I knew, this was them.

I read and re-read their profile again and again. After asking maybe two questions to the agency worker I asked if they were able to meet sooner rather than later. To my surprise they were able to meet me the next day!! Now mind you the baby is already here. So, of course not knowing any of the "rights or wrongs" in all of this I asked if it was okay if I brought the baby with me to meet them and of course it was. So we set on a time and place. On my way to our meeting place I was almost in a daze, so to calm myself and give this couple the chance they deserved I made a promise to my child and myself. That promise was this, I was going to let them hold him and interact with him and as long as he stayed content asleep and comfortable then I knew they were the right choice. But if he woke up up or became fussy or just "unfixed" then I would reevaluate. He was a newborn after all and we all know they normally only wake up because of a reason. So I kind of left it up to Harlynn and how he told me so. We got to the restaurant and I met with the agency worker outside first so she could show me to the table and she said that they were extremely nervous, excited and almost crying from nerves waiting on us which I too was a ball of nerves.  Our initial face to face greeting was probably the most beautiful greeting you could imagine between 3 strangers and a baby. Mommy K (adoptive mom) and daddy Z (adoptive dad) both were white as ghosts. Daddy Z stood up and offered to help set the car seat on a chair for me and momma K had a beautiful bouquet of flowers and hugged me wiping tears from her cheeks trying to get the words, "Thank you for wanting to meet with us," out. I still had the blanket over Harlynn's car seat because it was freezing outside so they haven't seen him yet. After we figured out how to set the car seat in the chair and got the diaper bag and all situated I reached over and took the blanket from over his seat. Momma K and daddy Z both were in utter awe. Seeing the look of pure love on both of their faces reminded me of the look on my face when I first saw his face after birth. The look we all get of pure love and immediate devotion.

Momma K couldn't really say anything so I spoke up kind of quickly and said, if you guys would like to your more than welcome to hold him. She looked up at me because I was standing at this point to get him out and only could shake her head yes...still with that look of pure love and overwhelming awe. I took him out and handed him over to her and Harlynn snuggled right into her chest as if she was mom. We sat there and spoke for about 4 hours all the while we changed diapers and I let them feed him a bottle. Their interactions with one another was the icing on the cake really. The adoption since gas been finalized and I see him almost weekly. Momma K and I have grown as close as sisters I think I get daily pictures and even got invited to take professional family pictures with the family this week :)

My adoption story is one I couldn't have even imagined. This experience has changed me as a person. My long term career goals have shifted. I now am determined to be a permanent part of the adoption agency and doing all that I can to help other birth moms experience adoption the way I am. I am a birth mom that suffers from drug addiction and so do a number of other birth moms that the agency helps. I am going to start attending college to obtain my Bachelors in Psychology with a focus on addictions and become an addictions counselor and pair with the adoption agency to work only with other birth moms that struggle with addiction, either actively using or in recovery. Being a birth mom has changed my life in so many ways. I can only hope that me sharing this helps someone out there who is struggling with making the decision to place, or help a birth mom that knows that adoption is the way she's going, but can't seem to find the right couple. I just want to share that adoption is beautiful and we birth moms deserve to find peace, too.

Have you been impacted by adoption like Leah? 
If so, we want to hear from you.