Ashley | A Birth Mom from Texas

Ashley.jpegOne word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant?

I felt completely numb, I was most likely going through shock. I found out I was pregnant when I was fifteen at my sophomore year homecoming dance. My best friend held my hand while we read the test. I remember going home and talking to my mom, lying to her about how fun the dance was. After she went to go to sleep, I laid down on the couch for an hour or two and thought to myself. It took me around two weeks to fully process I was pregnant before I was able to tell my parents. After that point, I really realized how terrified and alone I was.

Why did you choose on adoption? What and who played the biggest role in your decisions to place your child for adoption?

I wanted a better life for my child. My father has a big role in that. He and one of his brothers were adopted, and had a wonderful childhood and family life because of that. I wanted my child to have a mother and father who could fully provide financial and emotional support. As my child would have lacked both, I made the choice as a mother to give my child the life they deserved.

What did you think about adoption before you place? And after you placed?

At the beginning I was very uneasy. I didn't know how I felt about giving my child to complete strangers. Though it is not fully open, after I met my child's birth parents I knew the direction I was going in was the right one. I have no regrets about the adoption. I placed my child with the most loving and caring couple I have ever known. I am so happy and thankful I was able to find such a charming and loving couple to raise this beautiful and strong child. I believe God has a reason for everything, and my pregnancy was part of his plan to give such a beautiful couple an equally beautiful child.

Looking back, what do you wish you had known then that you know today?

I wish I had known I would be 100% at peace with my decision.

If you could dispel any myths about adoption or birth mothers - what would you say?

We LOVE our children. This is not done easily. After much thought and consideration, we make our decision as BIRTH MOTHERS to give our children better lives. This decision is not easy in the slightest and is definitely not the "easy" way out, but a selfless act of love any mother would do for their children; what is best. There is not a day that goes by that we do not think about our children, but I realize that my decision was made for the best.

When, if ever, have you felt most discouraged about your decision to place?

At the beginning when I was still trying to fit the pieces together, but after I realized what I wanted to do, my mind was made up. A day after I gave birth, I remember crying hysterically. I knew the pain I was about to go through and was so scared because even then, I knew I what I was going to go through with it.

What's been the greatest reward or surprise of being a birth mother?

I am so glad to know the child is so well cared for, provided for, and most of all, loved. The gratitude for their birth parents, my gift from God, is the biggest reward. I am so thankful that they have a father. The smile on their face makes it all worth it.

What's your greatest wish for birth mothers today?

Be at peace. This is nowhere close to easy. But you are strong; it takes a very strong woman to do what you are doing. Do not listen to the judgment of others, they don't understand and most likely never will. What matters is your child's happiness, and as long as they are happy, I promise you will be too.

What excites you about BraveLove?

I believe this is an exciting and amazing opportunity to educate the public on the topic of adoption. It also helps pregnant woman understand the process and beauty of adoption!