One word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant?
Why did you choose adoption?
I chose adoption because everything kept pointing to adoption. Before I found out I was pregnant people around me were talking about adopting, all the quotes I saw on Pinterest were about adoption. When I went to get proof of pregnancy, the center I was at talked to me about adoption and led me to a support group for single pregnant women. I learned there that one of the leaders was adopting and she shared her story with me. She also introduced me to the birth mother who shared her story with me. I truly believe God pointed me to adoption.
What and who played the biggest role in your decision to place your child for adoption?
I have a 2-year-old who I parent. Her father along with the father of my second child played a big part in why I chose adoption. I have been raising my 2-year-old alone since she was born, her father has been no help. The father of the adopted child is a great dad to two children and together we decided that adoption was the best for all involved. Another huge reason why I chose adoption was because of my mother. She raised five kids alone, she struggled but made the most of it. I want better for my children, both of them.
What did you think about adoption before you placed? And after you placed?
I thought adoption was a little scary because I couldn’t plan for how I would feel after I gave birth. I knew I was doing the right thing but I was terrified I would change my mind at the last minute and have nothing for a baby at home. After I saw my daughter with her parents I knew I had done the right thing. I knew the second I saw her in her parent's arms that I had made the decision. I will always know my baby girl because of the parents I chose were the perfect parents.
Looking back, what do you wish you had known then that you know today?
There is nothing that I can think of that I didn't already know besides how I would feel after I placed. There is no way to know how you will feel after you place a child for adoption, but I know with the help of God I am doing just fine.
If you could dispel any myths about adoption or birth mothers - what would you say?
Not all adoptions are bad. I joined a support group for birth moms and when I tried to get support they told me how horrible adoption was and how I would never know my child. How the adoptive parents would go back on what we had agreed on. But I know now that I will always know my baby girl, and I love open adoption!
When, if ever, have you felt most discouraged about your decision to place?
When I am around my family who disagreed with my decision and seem to remind me of how life would be if I didn’t place my second child.
What's been the greatest reward or surprise of being a birth mother?
I gained a whole family when I placed my daughter. I love my daughter’s parents, and I am so happy to be a part of the family.
What's your greatest wish for birth mothers today?
That it is OK to cry and breakdown. You are loved, and you gave the most amazing gift a woman who can’t have children could ask for.
What excites you about BraveLove?
That you are showing people that not all adoptions are terrible.