Roanne | A Birth Mom from New York

Roanne.jpegOne word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant?


Why did you choose adoption?

I wanted to give my child the best life possible. He deserved more than I could offer at that time of my life. He deserved two loving parents who loved him. He deserved everything in the world.

What and who played the biggest role in your decision to place your child for adoption?

My mom played the biggest role in my decision to place my child. When I told her I was pregnant she told me she would support my decision. But my parents were not going to help me raise a child if I chose to raise him.

What did you think about adoption before you placed? And after you placed?

I only knew a little about adoption. I placed 17 years ago. At the time open adoption was pretty unheard of. I told my mom that I needed to know my child. I couldn’t wonder every time a little boy walked by me if he was my birth child. My mom told me about open adoption and I knew in my heart that was what I wanted for my child. I now know how beautiful open adoption can be. I have been blessed with an amazing open adoption. My birth son has grown to become one of my closest and dearest friends. His family is my family. We are family always and forever.


Looking back, what do you wish you had known then that you know today?

That I would be ok. That it gets easier over time. Believe in the love that adoption is and invest in it. It is worth every minute.

If you could dispel any myths about adoption or birth mothers - what would you say?

Adoption is a loving choice. Birth mothers are real women who made the ultimate sacrifice out of unconditional love. We come from all walks of life. We all put the needs of our child before the wants of our hearts.

When, if ever, have you felt most discouraged about your decision to place?

After placement when I lost friends because they told me that no one could love my child as much as I did. I walked away from them. I learned to surround myself with supportive friends.

What's been the greatest reward or surprise of being a birth mother?

The greatest reward has been to witness the young man that my birth son has grown to become. To see and feel the love that his parents have for me. To see the pride in my birth son’s eyes when he introduces me as his birth mom.

What's your greatest wish for birth mothers today?

My greatest wish for birth mothers is to find the love and support that is deserved. To find peace with their decision and to live happy.

What excites you about BraveLove?

The love, support and education that is provided.