Jane | An Adoptee from Virginia

Jane.pngWhen did you learn you were adopted?

My parents told me from the time I was very young. I don’t ever remember not knowing, just growing in my understanding of what it meant.

Do you recall how your parent(s) explained why you were adopted?

They told me they really wanted me, that they chose me, they joked that that they were “stuck” with my brother (their biological child), but they picked me special, as well as my other brother who was also adopted (not my biological brother). When I learned about the birds and the bees, I began to understand more that another person was my “birth-mother.” I have prayed for her over the years, and that she would be reassured that I am alive and well.

Was your adoption open, semi-open, or closed?


Have you ever met your birth mother or birth father?


If no, what would you want to say if given the opportunity? 

THANK YOU for giving me life, and for making the hard choice to let me go, perhaps for both of our sakes. I’d want her to know that I have a fantastic family, and have been loved unconditionally and well, that I am happy and healthy, and SO very grateful. My poster at the March for Life said “Adopted & Grateful: I am a picture of Hope and Redemption.” This expresses so well the joy that I feel about my adoption. The other side said “Adopted & Grateful: chosen to live, chosen for life.” I feel I have been twice loved and blessed. I am now 50 years old, and have 3 young adult kids of my own!

Do you have any negative feelings about your adoption? If so, what?

None whatsoever!!

From your perspective, why do you think some women don’t even consider adoption?

They may fear “bad genes” or things like pre-natal drug exposure that is undisclosed. They might fear that they couldn’t love a child as much who wasn’t biologically their own. My parents love me 150%!

I’m sure you’ve heard the different myths about adoption. If you could dispel one of them - what would you say?

Personally, I’ve never felt abandoned or rejected. But I was adopted as a baby, and I can understand that a child that has been through the foster system could struggle with difficult scenarios.

What’s your greatest wish for birth mothers today? 

That they would choose life! Having not experienced open adoption personally, I can’t speak to that. I can say that my closed adoption has not left me wanting in any way.