Why Julia Cares

Julia.jpegAll around the country there are men and women who care about changing the perception of adoption! They're not all birth mothers, adoptive parents or adoptees though they still care. They're people just like Julia...

Julia is a South Carolina girl who moved to Dallas, TX for a new adventure and to spoil her two nephews. She is currently pursuing a degree in Diagnostic Medical Sonography to work in crisis pregnancy ministry. Her favorite things are laughing, her schnauzer, warm cookies, and the Clemson Tigers. Here's why Julia cares...

I've watched at least a dozen friends of mine go through the process of adoption, as well as mourning with them through the painful road of loss that often precedes adoption. All the stories have been so different, and it's been great to be able to celebrate their joy with them and watch their families grow.

While I can sympathize with their sadness and their joy, I can't really relate to what they are going through. I have never been married. I've never been pregnant. I'd love a child one day- but ideally not right now. I guess this isn't the most typical of adoption stories, as I have no direct ties to adoption in my own life. But, as someone who can sense the emotions of others and processes my own emotions very deeply (this has been both a blessing and a curse), I often find myself imagining what it is like to be in the shoes of every person affected by adoption - whether it is the birth parent, the adoptive parent, or the adopted child. To understand the impact of adoption, we must look at it from all angles before we can truly grasp what it means and know what an amazing thing it really is. 

While I can see adoption through the eyes of the parents because I am an adult who desires children, I feel the weight of adoption more through the eyes of the children because I am single. I empathize especially with the older ones that have noticed that their life looks a little (or a lot) different from most other kids they know. I understand the deep longing for a family to call their own. I understand the pain of continually presenting yourself as best you can, hoping that someone will "pick me." I understand what it's like to feel like there's something wrong with you because your life doesn't look the same as everyone else's for whatever reason. I understand why they would wonder "Why doesn't my life look like that?" or "Will I ever have that?" when they see other kids their age doing activities with their families. I understand on a very real level what it's like to feel rejected and alone. Those feelings are real and they are powerful, but luckily our feelings do not have the final say in who we actually are.  

To the birth moms - I know at times it's easy to be overwhelmed by shame or guilt. But, the most important thing to remember is that you are so incredibly brave and important. Each child that is born changes the world in his own unique way, and your decision to choose life for this baby will change the world. To the adoptive parents - thank you for your open hearts to receive this child as your own blood. I hope one day they will truly understand the magnitude of your love for them.  To the children - regardless of how you feel or what anyone tells you - God has given you life. Therefore, you are loved. You are wanted. You are so, so valuable, and there is a great and wonderful purpose for your life.  

Why do you care about adoption? Even if you can't directly relate to anyone in the adoption triad, your voice matters. If you're reading this, you have a story to share and we'd love to hear from you! E-mail us and tell us why you care. Together we can make a difference!