Meet Allie! She's one of our newest contributors to the Being A Birth Mom column...

Hey there, I'm Allie!  I am a birth mother, wife, daughter, blogger, manager and dog mom. My favorite nickname I have is "Mama Allie" which was given to me by the most precious little boy I've ever laid eyes on. I placed my son 6 years ago as of December 2017. I am a manager and artist for a pottery studio in West Texas.

I was only 15 when I found out I was pregnant. My mom went to the doctor with me.  My mom & dad are both deceased now.  Unfortunately, I never asked how they felt, but I do remember my father crying when he heard the news.  It broke my heart since that was the first time I had seen him cry.  I think I was so young.

It didn’t really register until I started showing. I got pregnant in June after my freshman year of HS I began my sophomore year but left around Halloween (about 5 months pregnant).  Some friends deserted me, a few stayed my friend through it all.  

It was something I will never forget, something hard to talk about, something I can barely find words for. In just 3 days I said my hello and goodbye to my beautiful, sweet newborn baby girl. How did I cope with the heartbreak and temptations to keeping her all to myself? Maybe it was watching my other two beautiful babies struggle with one parent, maybe it was the pure joy in my absolutely amazing adoptive couple’s faces, maybe it was the support and love I received from my family and their family, or maybe it was looking into her beautiful face and knowing she deserved more than I could ever give her. 

When I first found out I was pregnant, I felt terrified and alone, I felt as if I couldn’t trust anyone. At that time—1993—the only available resource to me, when I suspected pregnancy, was a phone book. After cracking the book open, I stumbled upon a crisis pregnancy hotline and called as soon as my boss left for dinner break. The news of my pregnancy didn’t reach my family until four months later when my clothing no longer had a proper fit. 

Oddly enough, my mother handed me the card of a counselor at an adoption agency and when I glanced at it, I discovered it was the same lady who heard my cries on the phone just a few months earlier.

There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her. Obviously if my situation had been better I would have kept her and parented her. But, I knew it was best for her to have the family that she has now. I was really enjoying high school and excited to start my junior year. I was running track and cross country. I was running faster times than I’d ever run before. 

I was first introduced to BraveLove when I attended their launch party in September of 2012. I was pregnant at the time. When I saw videos of different birth moms sharing their stories, it made me cry. I was so impacted by their stories. The courageous stories of birth mothers empowered me to consider adoption. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I was afraid. I didn't know the first step to take. I considered abortion.

My adoption story started in high school… I was a typical 16-year-old, with an academic focus and dreams in place. Until December 8th, 2001, when I found out I was pregnant. My first thought, was to keep this child I loved so much already, but how?

How was I going to take care of a baby when my Mom was still taking care of me?

With many prayers, bill calculations, and late-night conversations with my Mom, I decided on adoption. I loved the idea of adoption, it was my only option. 

I wonder what she is doing right now. Is her sweet mama holding her, kissing her cheeks and telling her how much she is loved? Is her daddy blowing raspberries on her tummy and grinning at the sweet sound that comes from her perfect mouth. Is her big brother, laying on the floor beside her swing, telling her a story? Honestly, it doesn’t really matter what she’s doing. I know that she is loved, and that’s all that matters. 

My name is Lydia, and I placed my perfect little girl for adoption 2 days after she was born. The raw and painful memories of that day are still so very real for me. But, the absolute joy I got from looking at the faces of her parents radiating with pure love and adoration for that perfect baby girl was all I needed to reassure me that I was doing the absolute best and right thing for her. She had a family. One that had been waiting for her for far too long. 

Do you remember the night of your Senior Prom? The dress, the makeup, the hair, your date….one of the most exciting nights of the year for a Senior in High School. I remember the night of my Senior Prom very vividly. It was the night that I, as a 17-year-old, went into labor. 

I was the good girl in school, I had good grades and never got into trouble. I met a boy, I fell in love and I made adult decisions before I should have. I started my Senior Year at 16 years old, and pregnant. I was so scared and confused. The only thing I knew for certain was that abortion wasn’t an option for me.