The more time I spend reaching out to others about the truth in adoption, I find the skewed words and ideas many individuals have on the placement of a child, from a mother and father that love him/her so dearly. 

I encounter comments, and vocabulary that cuts deep into the being of who I really am as a birth mom. These statements that people throw around pertaining to adoption is crippling to my heart and to the hearts of many others. As with any sensitive topic, I think it is important to understand the truth behind the words we are spitting out of our mouths.

Jessica is an amazing woman with a whole lot of wisdom to share. She's our next contributor to Being A Birth Mom. Meet Jessica... 

Hi There! My name is Jessica; I am a wife, friend, Realtor, sister, blogger and birth mother. While these labels don’t perfectly define who I am, I do wear them oh so humbly! Being a birth mother has been one of my greatest and most favorite “labels” to take on.  

I made an open adoption plan for my son in 2009. Making this choice lead me to some of the brightest and some of the darkest phases of my life.

Hey friends! I write to you with such joy in my heart. This week I have several friends with children having birthdays. It’s such a joy to celebrate life! And it got me thinking…how do you celebrate your child’s life?

My amazing, loving husband and my children have a bit of a tradition for my son’s birthday. We get a sweet treat, put a candle in it (each of us have one), and we each say a silent prayer or wish for him. Then, we sing Happy Birthday to him and blow out “his” candles. I did it on my own at first, but now that my family is getting old enough to understand more of who this child is, my son and their half-brother, I get to share this with them. It is great to let them ask questions and celebrate him too. I love that my daughter made him a birthday card this year!

I remember being where you're at. I remember the shock, guilt, confusion, anger and the surreal feeling of having no control. I've been the girl sitting on the bed crying looking over 8 positive pregnancy tests, thinking if you take one more maybe it won't be true. Because I've been there and I've felt those feelings, I want to say a few words to you. And I ask you to keep an open mind as I tell you the truth. And the truth is, it’s hard. Every single part of it, finding out and making decisions you weren't ready to make is hard. The judgement, facing family, telling people, your body changing for the world to see, it’s all hard. 

Dear Birth Moms,

Just last month, we celebrated World Adoption Day. Maybe you knew that. Maybe you were totally unaware.

I don’t know if you checked your social media accounts that day. You may remember scrolling through selfies of parents and children who shared the story of adoption or if you were oblivious to it all.

Last month was National Adoption Month and I was finally given the courage to share my story.

I will never forget the day when I decided to place my child in the hands of someone else. I thought giving birth was hard, I thought going into the army was hard, but placing a child for adoption has got to be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. There were so many thoughts going through my head when I searched through the profiles for a family to care for my baby girl. Many people will never understand how I could place her for adoption and that's ok because this was my journey and this is my testimony.

All I ask is that you read it and share if you like...

If you ask me about myself; I will tell you I am a wife, and a mama to 4 kiddos, I will say that I love Jesus and journaling, and making reclaimed wood art.

At some point, I will probably mention my affinity for Dunkin Donuts and Harry Potter; and most likely I will tell you that I'm a birth mom, too. These are a few parts within the story of who I am.   

Meet Kaedra! Our next Being A Birth Mom contributor...

I placed my son for adoption 14 years ago, in 2002. I was 19, and I knew that was the very best thing I could do for him at that time in my life. I love keeping in touch with him and his family through open adoption.

“I loved him enough to give him life. But I had to love him, even more, to give him a life.” That is the response I give when I am asked how I could give up my child.

As a 17-year-old who thought I knew what it meant to be in love, I was oblivious to what it could mean to be careless. I remember where and when I got pregnant. While the doctor told me I wasn’t, I still couldn’t shake the morning sickness. Then my life turned upside-down.