I Am Not Ashamed — Lydia's Story

Warning: The content of this story contains very sensitive subjects and potentially distressing material. 


Lydia is from Alabama and is currently pursuing counseling to help others who have gone through what she has. She wants to educate people on adoption. She loves to cook, and in her spare time, she enjoys anything fun with her girls. Top picture: Lydia and her two daughters that she parents. Bottom picture: Lydia, Dana (the adoptive mom), and her daughter that she placed for adoption.

In March 2017 I was raped by someone I consider my closest friend. Then I got pregnant. Before I ever took a test I knew because once you have been pregnant you just know. 

I prayed and cried and asked God why and what was I supposed to do with another child. I couldn’t afford the ones I have! Please don’t think I am crazy, but I heard him say to me “not to worry, this isn't your child.”

I thought WHAT???? How is a child I am carrying that is a part of me not my child! God told me to have faith and trust him.

I reached out to a friend (someone that I have a lot of mutual friends with). She told me that they have wanted to grow their family after they had their son. But then she had a cancer scare and had to have a full hysterectomy. She mentioned that she had recently switched jobs and was now working for an adoption agency. We talked, and she and her husband agreed that, whether or not they were the family God wants for the baby, God still wanted them to be there to help me through this journey. 

By October, the husband just didn’t feel right. He didn’t have a peace. But I did, his wife did, and so did some other family members. So I started the process of looking for another family, which was so hard because everything that I really wanted I had already found in this family. 


Though a few nights later, I got a phone call from the husband asking if I was still willing to let them be the family. He said he was afraid, and he was letting that get in the way of what God wanted him to do. So we proceeded with them.

By November, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I was blessed to be able to spend as much time as I wanted with her in the hospital.

Now, I am blessed that I can see her anytime I want. Her mom and I have a wonderful friendship. 

Is it hard? Yes. Some days it still is. But I know that if I would have parented her things would have been even harder on my girls and that this is giving the baby her best chance.

I was blessed to be used by God to bless someone with such an amazing gift.

Now we are really close to the adoptive family. I absolutely love it. I am glad that God took something bad that someone had done to me and turned it into a blessing for me, for the baby, for her family, and for others that hear our story.

I am not ashamed to be called a birth mother — I am honored!

Are you a birth mother thinking about sharing your story?
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