Open Letters

Dear scared, pregnant, and alone:

Dear scared, pregnant, and alone:

My name is Elizabeth, and my birth daughter turned six today. It feels like yesterday that I was reading that life-altering pregnancy test while crying on the bathroom floor. I remember feeling scared and alone, but what I remember most was having this overwhelming feeling of needing to get rid of my secret.

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Dear birthmom,

Dear Birthmom,

I want to encourage you today about the decision you have made. Having made this choice I know some of the feelings you may be experiencing. It is an exquisite pain.

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To My Daughter's Birth Mother

I've always wanted to give my daughters' birth mother a card for Mother's Day. Unfortunately, no such card exists. So I decided to write one to her (and every other birth mother out there). 

Here it is...

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To My Son's Birth Mother,

Happy Mother’s day today and every day. It is a true honor to share today’s celebration with you. There is no other woman on Earth I will ever share this connection and bond and title to our son with and with that comes a love and respect that I will never truly be able to convey.

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Dear Brave Soul,

I want to spend five minutes to remind you how much I admire you. How much you matter to me. 

It takes a lot of bravery to be in “our shoes”. 

If you’re having a hard day I’m here for you. I’m here for you because I get it. I know that the grieving can take a toll. Not just with your mind and soul yet your body as well. 

I’m here for you for all the reasons left unsaid. 

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Dear Adoption Triad

I want you to read this with an open heart and open mind. It may very well challenge you. My hope is that it will inspire and encourage you more. It is written from my heart to yours. It is my perspective as an adoptee and birth mother. It is not meant to be an attack or judgment on anyone. For we all make up this triangle and we need each other and each other’s voices to make it better. We all want the same thing. To be loved. To be heard. To be honored.

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To the girl who is in the shoes that I was once in,

I remember being where you're at. I remember the shock, guilt, confusion, anger and the surreal feeling of having no control. I've been the girl sitting on the bed crying looking over 8 positive pregnancy tests, thinking if you take one more maybe it won't be true. Because I've been there and I've felt those feelings, I want to say a few words to you. And I ask you to keep an open mind as I tell you the truth. And the truth is, it’s hard. Every single part of it, finding out and making decisions you weren't ready to make is hard. The judgement, facing family, telling people, your body changing for the world to see, it’s all hard. 

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To the birth moms who gave me siblings.

Dear Birth Moms,

Just last month, we celebrated World Adoption Day. Maybe you knew that. Maybe you were totally unaware.

I don’t know if you checked your social media accounts that day. You may remember scrolling through selfies of parents and children who shared the story of adoption or if you were oblivious to it all.

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I'm writing this because writing a letter is what changed my life. 

26 years ago, I came into the world, four months early, to a woman who was in no way ready to be a mother. Her life choices and decisions left her unable to parent her children, however, that's just the beginning of the story…

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To My Birth Mom,

I was in second grade when my parents told me I was adopted. There were so many questions that I want answered but knew they never will be. There were times when I will look in a mirror staring at myself wondering what you might look like. The color of your hair, eyes, and skin. The sound of your laugh, the way you smile. Wondered if you thought of me everyday.

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