Open Letters

It was all for you

For my birth son,

A decision so selfless, a love so pure.

You were a gift from the Lord and a blessing for her.

As the days pass by quickly and as the seasons they change,

Her bond for you will always remain.

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To the woman who gave birth to me,

Thank you for giving me a second chance at life. Thank you for being strong and giving me life. I gave joy to my adoptive parents who couldn't have a child, you made their dreams come true. Because of you, my adoptive mother got her dreams and you got a second chance. I write this as a daughter to two mother's whom I both have a special bond with strength of two powerful woman. My message to those looking to give up your child, I am a success story, as hard as it is to give up that small innocent baby or child, just know that bond will never be gone. My genes and blood live on with one, love and opportunities live with my other. Just remember we are all energy and I will one day be reunited in spirit to that brave woman who loved me enough to spare me her pain and gave me a chance. I love you both, my two moms. I hope I can meet her one day in person But I thank her from the bottom of my heart.


To My Son,

When I found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend and I considered marriage, raising the child together, but through the support and counsel of family and friends, came to the conclusion we should not get married just because I had gotten pregnant.  Such a sacred, covenantal relationship should be Plan A, not Plan B. With marriage out of the picture, my boyfriend and I really had to search our hearts for what we thought was going to be best for our son. I wanted to raise my son. Of course, I wanted to raise my son. To see him take his first steps, learn his first words, watch him grow into the man the Lord created him to be. I didn’t really care about the personal sacrifice it would take to be a single mom. I was willing to make it - a hundred times over. But the truth is that I also wanted something else.

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Dear Ezra James,

This is the hardest letter I have ever written.

If you are reading this you are probably in your teens, asking yourself a bunch of questions, the main question being why? No it was not because I didn’t love you enough, no it was not because I didn’t want to keep you. The one reason I chose adoption is because I knew it would give you the best life possible, one I could not provide for you at the time.

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My Dearest Joey,

I have written to you once before. It was the day your adoptive family came to take you home. I was 15 at the time, and lost in my feelings.

I knew as soon as I handed the envelope over my mess of emotion would be read as immature and unwelcome. I am happy to be getting this second chance.

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To the sweetest, strongest woman I know,

It’s been almost over 18 years since our worlds collided. Pain, struggles and difficult decisions surrounded our new found relationship back then. You had been through so much but continued to give without reservation. You took on my pain and hurt as your own and tenderly loved and walked me through our adoption. For that I will be eternally grateful.

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To all my Birthmother Sisters,

Over the last 19 years, my adoption journey has taken me on some seriously intense emotional ups and downs. If given the opportunity to go back and do it all again, I can think of a lot that I might change, but I realize that each and every experience taught me something unique. Without those experiences, I may not be where I am at today. Our life journeys allow us to grow as individuals; and when adoption becomes part of our journey we gain a perspective into life that few others will ever truly understand.

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Dear Birth Mom,

We haven’t yet met, but I pray for you and your little one every day. I hope you feel an overwhelming peacefulness as you travel down this path. This Valentine’s Day, I am sending you love. Know that you are not alone—I am thinking of you. You are a kind, self-sacrificing, courageous woman. You are a blessing to your little one and to me. I am grateful for you. I hope you have a wonderful day.

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Dear BraveLove,

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to work with a birth-mom throughout her labor, subsequent C-section and the two days she spent in the hospital with her sweet baby girl.  This mother was 19; this was her third child.  Her first child had been taken away by CPS.  She was parenting her second child and had just returned from a recovery facility in order to “be a better mother”.  She made an adoption plan for this (3rd) child because she “knew this was the best thing”.  She continually sited that she wanted to do what was right for her unborn child and the child she was currently parenting.  Rarely did she mention her own needs and/or desires.  As we sat in the OR while she had a C-section (I was in there because her family never showed up), I just kept thinking…this is brave. 

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To My Son, Eli,

It has been just over a week since I gave birth to you and I miss you more than words could ever say.  I am your birth mother and I want to tell you a little about our story and how you were placed into the arms of your parents.

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