Most people are very cautious to date women that have children because it’s an added responsibility, especially if you’re in your early twenties.

Most of the time you want to date a girl first, then build a life with her before you introduce children into the mix. Being a birth mother, one would think this is no big deal to date/tell your boyfriend because you don’t actually physically have your child to take care of. What’s the big deal?

At BraveLove, we're dedicated to erasing the stigmas of adoption, and a big part of that involves sharing stories that honor birth mothers. As we all know, adoption impacts people forever. The journey isn't over after the decision has been made. That's why we love to stay connected with those who have shared their stories with BraveLove over the years, like Allie.

Allie placed her son for adoption six years ago. Two years ago she shared her story with BraveLove (see here), and today we're catching up with her to see what the details of her life look like six years later.

How would you describe yourself today?

Today I am stronger. I am stronger because I've been able to build myself with grace, humility, and perseverance. 19-year-old me wouldn't recognize who I am today. Through my open placement of my birth son I've learned to give myself grace on the hard days and give grace abundantly to others when needed. I've learned humility because by God's power, not mine, that my birth son has a loving home and provisions I couldn't provide when I placed him. I've learned perseverance through being a birth mother; it's not always an easy road and it's often you become weary from. Persevering through the myths that come along with the title, and dispelling them whenever I can. Each and every day I try to be a better version of myself than I was yesterday.

At BraveLove, we're dedicated to erasing the stigmas of adoption, and a big part of that involves sharing stories that honor birth mothers. As we all know, adoption impacts people forever. The journey isn't over after the decision has been made. That's why we love to stay connected with those who have shared their stories with BraveLove over the years, like Jori.

Jori placed her daughter for adoption nine years ago. She shared her story with BraveLove about five years ago (see here). Today we're catching up with her to see what life looks like nine years later.

How would you describe yourself today?

I am a wife of 8 years. A birth mother to an amazing 9-year-old girl. A mom to twin 7-year-old girls, a 4-year-old dinosaur loving boy, and the sweetest 10-month-old baby boy. I am a non-paid taxi driver, chef, house cleaner, laundry folding expert, Netflix junkie, and a book reader while in a warm bath lover.

At BraveLove, we're dedicated to erasing the stigmas of adoption, and a big part of that involves sharing stories that honor birth mothers. As we all know, adoption impacts people forever. The journey isn't over after the decision has been made. That's why we love to stay connected with those who have shared their stories with BraveLove over the years, like Wynter.

Wynter placed her son for adoption in 2001. She shared her story called "The Secret Inside Me" with BraveLove about five years ago (see here). Today we're catching up with her to see what life looks like 17 years later.

How would you describe yourself today?

I am a work-from-home mom, wife, and business owner.

What do your days look like?

I have three, school-age kids, work part-time for a fantastic, world-changing nonprofit called Mending the Soul, I am a part-time freelance editor, blogger, and author, and my husband and I founded and run a nanobrewery just outside Portland, Oregon!

Perhaps you've seen Heather Avis on The Today Show or read her best-selling book The Lucky Few. Or maybe you've seen her adorable children on her wildly popular Instagram account @macymakesmyday.

Whether you know her or not, Heather Avis is someone you should pay attention to and we'll tell you why. We were delighted to have an hour of her time to learn more about her family, their adoption story, and the advice she offers to families considering adoption.

In celebration of World Down Syndrome Day (today!), we want to introduce you to Heather. 

At BraveLove, we're dedicated to erasing the stigmas of adoption, and a big part of that involves sharing stories that honor birth mothers. As we all know, adoption impacts people forever. The journey isn't over after the decision has been made. That's why we love to stay connected with those who have shared their stories with BraveLove over the years, like Tamra. 

Tamra placed her son for adoption in the mid 90's and didn't have an open adoption. She shared her story with BraveLove about five years ago (see here). Today we're catching up and learning what her life looks like these days.

How would you describe yourself today?

I am a Primitive living, Wilderness survival instructor and Backcountry guide. I am a minimalist and a nomad. I am the favorite aunt to 20. I am a Mormon. And I am a birth mom in reunion and an adoption advocate.

At BraveLove, we're dedicated to erasing the stigmas of adoption, and a big part of that involves sharing stories that honor birth mothers. As we all know, adoption impacts people forever. The journey isn't over after the decision has been made. That's why we love to stay connected with those who have shared their stories with BraveLove over the years, like Gerrianne.

Gerrianne placed her son for adoption in the mid-80's. She shared her story with BraveLove about five years ago (see here). So we're catching up with her and learning what her life looks like these days.

How would you describe yourself today?

I am a joyful, fun, risk-taker and passionate (about adoption) individual.

I have been a birth mom for 21 years and navigating what that journey looks like ever since.

For a season, I didn’t share my journey, it was mine, and honestly, it was very personal. I didn’t want to invite anyone else into it; kind of like a kid with candy! I wanted to keep all the good stuff for myself.

Meet Angela! She's a long time friend of BraveLove's and one of our newest contributors to the Being A Birth Mom column...

Hello! My name is Angela and birth mom is just one of the titles I hold, but it is one of them I cherish the most. I placed my daughter for adoption in 1996 when I was just 17 years old. During my pregnancy, I struggled with my adoption plan, but one look at her perfection and the doubt was gone! She was perfect and deserved so much more than I was equipped to provide. Our adoption was semi-open but I have been blessed that our openness is beginning to grow and new relationships are forming.

It's Book Club time again! And this one was a great read to kick off the year.

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead by Brene Brown

Reviewed by Laura Bruder

This wasn't our typical book club choice. Usually, we select something that has an adoption storyline like The Waiting, You Carried Me, or To Have and Not to Hold. But this year, we wanted to read something a little different that might resonate with a wider audience.

Honestly, I wish everyone would read Daring Greatly because it's profoundly fascinating about the simple but universal human experience. It gives you words to identify feelings and tools to move forward (like the title describes).

Brene Brown is a research professor who studies vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. Her 2010 Ted Talk is one of the most watched talks on TED.com (watch here). 

Joy and pain being ever present at any given time. Of course, when I think about things for any length of time, I tend to see them in view of adoption.

There is no moment in life that I can think of where joy and grief are more present (in an all-out battle, if you will) than during an adoption.

I talk about being a birth mom a lot. It’s something I am passionate about because I long to see human dignity stretch into adoption from all sides of the triad.

I believe deeply in the inherent value of people. So, talking about adoption and my experience as a birth mom comes naturally, and sometimes I assume I am the only birth mom in the room. Most of the time I am.

This letter is intended to reach birth-mothers who don’t quite understand their emotions yet of a new placement or even an old one.

I hope it reaches someone who needs to hear that they’re not alone in these times; I know I would have welcomed a “letter” from someone who has been able to sort through and know these similar feelings of the turbulent waters of becoming a birth-parent.

Meet Allie! She's one of our newest contributors to the Being A Birth Mom column...

Hey there, I'm Allie!  I am a birth mother, wife, daughter, blogger, manager and dog mom. My favorite nickname I have is "Mama Allie" which was given to me by the most precious little boy I've ever laid eyes on. I placed my son 6 years ago as of December 2017. I am a manager and artist for a pottery studio in West Texas. I am a wife to the sweetest and most understanding husband who loves my birth son like he was his own. We have two sweet fur children, Murphy our Boston Terrier and Max our Boxer mix, along with our slew of backyard chickens.

Changing the way the world views adoption will take all of us. Whether you have a personal connection to adoption or not, you are needed. 

Here are 5 different ways to make a really big impact right where you are: 

It's Book Club time! This month BraveLove's founder Ellen reviewed the book, and here's what she thought about it...

The Waiting: The True Story of a Lost Child, a Lifetime of Longing, and a Miracle for a Mother Who Never Gave Up by Cathy LaGrow

Reviewed by Ellen Porter

(Warning: Spoiler ahead...)

The book The Waiting took me on quite an unexpected journey. It is the story of Minka, a 16-year-old child of immigrants who is assaulted in the woods by a stranger while attending a picnic in 1928.  She becomes pregnant and is encouraged to place her child for adoption. 

Time for Book Club! This month our friend Rachel from Utah reviewed the book. Here's what she thought about the memoir... 

You Carried Me: A Daughter's Memoir by Melissa Ohden

Reviewed by Rachel Holdaway

“This is the story of how I died.” This opening line from Disney’s Tangled could appropriately be the opening line of Melissa Ohden’s autobiography You Carried Me. The book follows Melissa’s relentless and courageous search for her biological parents and the truth surrounding her birth - and the failed abortion that was intended to take her life. 

As I am writing this, it is exactly 3 days after from Mother’s Day and a day away from my daughter’s birthday. Talk about a birth mother “double whammy”?! 

This is my second time sharing with BraveLove, and I appreciate their love for birth mothers and birth parents. Corinne will be turning 4 years old this year. While it feels as if time has flown by, it also feels like there has been enough time to grieve and grow. As many birth parents know, the grief comes in waves. It can hit us even when we are most satisfied and fulfilled in our roles as birth mothers (and birth parents).

Meet Chelsea (again)! She's our next Being a Birth Mom contributor... 

Hello there! My name is Chelsea. I am a proud birth mother, having placed my daughter Corinne for adoption 4 years ago. I am the domestic adoption coordinator for Journeys of the Heart Adoption Services, near Portland, OR. Besides these titles, I am a sister, daughter, cat mom, fisher women, gardener, blogger and avid lover of the outdoors and the Northwest. I am a Texas girl at heart!

This Mother's Day, we have the perfect place to shop for the amazing moms, birth moms, sisters, grandmothers, and aunts in your life. Our friends at ONEHOPE Wine are showing their support for birth moms and adoption this Mother's Day by giving back to BraveLove. Here's how...

It's Book Club time! 

To Have and Not to Hold: The Bonding of Two Mothers through Adoption by Lorri Antosz Benson

Reviewed by Laura from BraveLove

The title caught my attention, and then Phil Donahue's foreword motivated me to keep turning the pages of Lorri Antosz Benson's memoir To Have and Not to Hold.

Let’s just be real for a second…”Birth Mom” is not exactly a box that someone would eagerly check when creating their dating profile. Because being a birth mom is not a regular trait that you would find in a lot of women, it’s hard to believe that it would be high on any man’s “must-have” list when choosing a mate.

When considering the idea that adoption and being a birth mom can be uncharted or possibly uncomfortable territory for some people, how do we navigate dating and gently drop the Birth-Mom-Bomb on the men in our lives who choose to pursue us?

The more time I spend reaching out to others about the truth in adoption, I find the skewed words and ideas many individuals have on the placement of a child, from a mother and father that love him/her so dearly. 

I encounter comments, and vocabulary that cuts deep into the being of who I really am as a birth mom. These statements that people throw around pertaining to adoption is crippling to my heart and to the hearts of many others. As with any sensitive topic, I think it is important to understand the truth behind the words we are spitting out of our mouths.

Jessica is an amazing woman with a whole lot of wisdom to share. She's our next contributor to Being A Birth Mom. Meet Jessica... 

Hi There! My name is Jessica; I am a wife, friend, Realtor, sister, blogger and birth mother. While these labels don’t perfectly define who I am, I do wear them oh so humbly! Being a birth mother has been one of my greatest and most favorite “labels” to take on.  

I made an open adoption plan for my son in 2009. Making this choice lead me to some of the brightest and some of the darkest phases of my life.

Hey friends! I write to you with such joy in my heart. This week I have several friends with children having birthdays. It’s such a joy to celebrate life! And it got me thinking…how do you celebrate your child’s life?

My amazing, loving husband and my children have a bit of a tradition for my son’s birthday. We get a sweet treat, put a candle in it (each of us have one), and we each say a silent prayer or wish for him. Then, we sing Happy Birthday to him and blow out “his” candles. I did it on my own at first, but now that my family is getting old enough to understand more of who this child is, my son and their half-brother, I get to share this with them. It is great to let them ask questions and celebrate him too. I love that my daughter made him a birthday card this year!