It has been three years since we launched our Emmah Documentary. We wanted to check back in with Emmah and the adoptive family to see how they are doing! You can watch Emmah's Documentary here.
First, let's check in with Kacie and Ben, the adoptive family.
Q: It’s been three years! I have no doubt Cash is keeping you on your toes. Tell us a little about life lately!?
A: Cash Ryder is about 3.5 and is every bit of a toddler boy; all elevated flat surfaces are seen as a jump to conquer. Haha! But for real, he loves jumping off all of the things. He loves all things cars and sports. He likes to tell people when he turns 4 he is gonna play baseball! He loves to talk and jam out to songs in the car. Life in general lately has had quite a few unexpected health issues this year but we are all on the mend and charging forward. Ben and I are having fun planning Cash Ryder’s new room as we look to move him into the bigger room and turn it more into a boy's room versus a nursery (No, he’s not still in a crib). :)
Q: How is your relationship with Emmah? Are you still able to connect?
A: Our relationship with Emmah is good and we connect as much as possible. This year has made it challenging to meet in person as much but we still connect via phone and social media.
Q: Is communication what you thought it would be like with Emmah? Any surprises along the way?
A: I don’t think I really had a picture of what it would look like to be honest. We both were new at this and both knew we wanted to stay in communication and have a relationship. And to that it is very much what I hoped for. I would say the most unexpected thing or surprise has been how life can get in the way sometimes or how difficult it can be to plan around all of our schedules.
Q: How has your relationship with Emmah changed over the past three years?
A: I would say it strengthens anytime we are together, like physically in the same room. It has been fun to watch her grow as a woman and become who she is and watch her go after her dreams. We get to cheer her on and we love it! Cash Ryder adores her and loves every minute we get to share with her. When we go to restaurants that we’ve been to with Emmah, he says “We went here with Emmah!”
Q: What would you like to share about open adoption?
A: I just am so thankful for our relationship and the openness between us. I know that not all stories work out or are like ours. I’ve learned it takes both parties wanting it to work to make it work. It is really sweet to watch Cash Ryder grow and learn in his understanding. Right now he knows that Emmah is his birth mother and that he grew in her tummy. And he has said that to her, i think it caught her off guard, but i thought it was so stinkin sweet! We have this incredible opportunity to love and raise the sweetest boy. He will have opportunities to have his questions answered. He will never have to know if he is loved or not; it is evident how much he is loved. As scared as i was going into this, it has turned out to be the most beautiful relationship and I am so excited to see where it goes and how things continue to progress.
Now let's check in with Emmah!
Q: What are you up to these days? Tell us about your life!
A: Life has been amazing and scary at the same time. Recently my hometown went through a terrifying, catastrophic event. The massive flooding that occurred on the 4th of July has taken a toll on me and everyone around. It also has brought me closer to my community and taught me how wonderful and amazing it is to help and put others first. I did a lot of volunteering for my community and did my part of giving back. I met many wonderful people who will continue to play a big part in my life. This event not only brought me sadness and survivors guilt, it also brought me lifelong friendships and a bigger appreciation for those around. Recently I transferred colleges, starting my junior year taking online classes with UT Arlington to pursue getting my BSN. It’s been wonderful and stressful at the same time. I no longer play volleyball. I decided to put my health first after receiving my 4th concussion this past year. It’s been hard not having volleyball in my life anymore but it’s been such a relief away the same time. I have an amazing boyfriend. We have been together for almost a year and he is everything I prayed and asked God for. He is also in college. This spring he will be starting his first year at Baylor for law school. Although he has not met Cash, he knows about him and has continued to love me unconditionally.
Q: Your son is now three years old, crazy!! Tell us about your relationship with him?
A: My relationship with Cash is more than I could have ever hoped and wished for. We have a very fun and close bond. I remember there was one time we were all at church and he was sitting on my lap. He pointed to my stomach and said “I grew in there” which shocked me and made my heart happy. Knowing that he knows that I am his biological mother at such a young age is incredible and a blessing all in one. We love to play with cars when we are together and hangout. He will forever be the biggest blessing in my life.
Q: What is your relationship like with Kasie and Ben?
A: My relationship with Kacie and Ben is amazing. I am so blessed to have people like them who are so loving and caring. There has never been a time where I have felt like I was a burden. I have always felt so welcomed and loved by them. The relationship we have is very strong. I don’t just see them as individuals who are taking care of Cash. I see them as family. They are like my fun older siblings, especially Ben when he quizzed me over my boyfriend lol. There is never a time when we are together I don’t enjoy. The relationship I have with them will be one I cherish forever.
Q: While it’s only been three years, a lot of life has happened. What would you tell 17 year old Emmah who just found out she was pregnant?
A: Dear Emmah,
I know you’re feeling overwhelmed, scared, and maybe even alone right now. Finding out you’re pregnant at 17 is a huge moment, one that brings a lot of uncertainty and emotion. But I want you to know that you are stronger than you think.
You will face challenges, but you will also discover strengths you never knew you had. There will be days when it feels impossible, but there will also be moments of joy, love, and pride that make it all worthwhile. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or lean on those who care about you. You don’t have to do this alone.
Remember, your dreams and goals still matter. Life might look different than you imagined, but new opportunities and happiness can grow from unexpected places. Be kind to yourself, forgive your mistakes, and celebrate your victories, no matter how small.
Most importantly, trust yourself. You are capable of making good decisions for you and your baby. The journey ahead won’t always be easy, but you will get through it and you’ll be amazed at the person you become along the way.
With hope and encouragement,
Your future self <3
Q: What would you tell a young girl who is facing a similar situation as you did?
A: The most important thing I would tell her is know that you’re not alone. It’s normal to feel scared or uncertain, but there are people who care and want to help you. Your future is still full of possibilities. Take care of yourself, reach out for support, and remember you have choices. Whatever you decide, make sure it’s right for you. Be kind to yourself and trust that you can get through this. You are stronger than you think.
Q: What do you want others to know about adoption?
A: As someone who placed my child for adoption, I want others to know that adoption is an act of love and hope. It wasn’t easy, it was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made, but I did it because I wanted my child to have opportunities and stability that I couldn’t provide at the time.
Placing a child for adoption isn’t “giving up.” It’s making a thoughtful choice for your child’s future, even when it hurts. There are a lot of emotions involved, love, grief, hope, and sometimes guilt, but support from others can help you heal and move forward. Every adoption story is different. For me, knowing my child is loved and cared for brings comfort, even though I miss them every day. Open adoption allowed me to stay connected in some way, which helped, but everyone’s experience is unique.
If you’re considering adoption or know someone who is, please offer understanding and compassion. Adoption is a lifelong journey, and birth parents deserve respect for the love and courage it takes to make this choice.
Q: What are you looking forward to?
A: I am looking forward to graduating from college with a nursing degree. Getting married and starting a family that will know and grow to love Ben, Kacie, and Cash Man.
I do want to add that I appreciate all the support and love I have received from Bravelove. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to tell my story in hopes of helping another young girl in my situation
