Adoption is hard. It is beautiful. It is complex with many layers. Most times I have no words to describe it. But I have gratitude.
Gratitude towards a woman I never met before she birthed our daughter. A woman who took all her heart, all her might, and the sum of all her worries as made an adoption plan. A woman who hopefully knows we are connected through love-a heartstring between our families-forever connecting us throughout our lives. Gratitude how in the deepest places of her pain and longing she would trust us to raise a little girl she grew inside of her & birthed her. Gratitude she felt peace in her plan and sacrificed beyond words or what her heart could muster in emotions. Gratitude this little girl she birthed is full of wonder and joy.
She has the gift of excitement about simple things and is the gift of a daughter beyond what my heart could muster. Gratitude because in the midst of my longing to become a mother, I saw past my physical desire to have a baby. I saw my daughter’s birthmother for who she is—a beautiful woman who in the unknowns of her life, who in her pain, and who in her loss is a woman who is never to be forgotten.
A woman whose physical features and talents I see in my daughter. I see her strength and sense of wonder in my daughter and I hold those attributes close. They are the heartstring back to the woman who birthed my daughter. And I have gratitude for in a shift in perspective to honor this woman and never forget her.