She chose us to raise a piece of her.
The day Truman entered this world truly started the day before! His birth mom Jamie had an appointment and she was gracious in allowing me to attend. She had changed clinics with only a few weeks left in her pregnancy because she wanted me as involved as possible and her previous doctor/hospital was not supportive of her hospital plan. I quickly realized Jamie was a “take the bull by the horns” type of girl. She knew what she wanted for her little boy and having me there was part of that. (I know, she’s amazing, right??)
Back to her appointment! I was always nervous to see her because as the potential adoptive parent you worry you will say the wrong thing. I could tell the week before the stress and anxiety of life was weighing heavy on her, so much so that her blood pressure was climbing higher each week. This appointment was no different, her blood pressure was really high and Elissa (her midwife) said it was “GO TIME!” In this moment it took all my effort to not leap for joy and smile ear to ear because it was not lost on me that Jamie was about to go down a road that she knew she wouldn’t turn back from. The balance of wanting her to know how excited I was and being sensitive to her is the hardest place I have ever had to walk.
I called Andy right away since he was back in MN. Andy grabbed our pre-packed bags and started the long drive to Florida. The induction meant spending the night in the hospital before actually starting the medicine. I was thinking “Oh my, what does this mean, should I just hang out in the waiting room all night? Do I check on her? What if I wake her?” Elissa knowing Jamie wanted me involved checked with her, and low and behold I was going to get to spend the night in Jamie’s room, ALONE...talk about plenty of opportunities to say the wrong thing!! Jamie and I had never been without someone from the agency. I remember the first thing Jamie said “Finally we can talk about anything!” I realized in that moment Jamie and I had been guarded in our conversations because we were going based off the recommendation of the agency. Which normally is a good thing, but Jamie is unique and we are blessed to have crossed paths and become family with this girl!
We spent the night chatting and resting and checking in to see how Andy’s 24-hour drive was coming along. As the night wore on I felt more at ease with Jamie and less scared of saying the wrong thing. In the morning they started the medicine that would start her contractions. Again, another moment that I didn’t know if I should jump up and down or stand there with just a glimmer of excitement (I did the latter) Elissa had also talked with Jamie in private about how involved I would be in the actual delivery. Jamie was comfortable with me helping deliver him and cut his cord, then have skin to skin time with him in another room. (Insert jumping up and down on the inside at this moment)
Jamie did amazing, as a woman who has never felt a life grow inside of her, Jamie gifted me with getting as close as humanly possible and I think my heart had contractions every time she did! In delivery she had me and her counselor from the agency. Elissa was back just in time for pushing and said “Get suited up!” I can’t explain how hard my heart was beating!! Once he was out to his shoulders Elissa said “Take over!” Oh my gosh, this is it, the moment that I get to see him and touch him and love him in person…but wait, this is the moment that this life that Jamie grew inside her and loved is leaving and I am cutting his cord-his last physical attachment to her-the time she had him all to herself is coming to an end. My heart went from excitement to breaking…I couldn’t take my eyes off Jamie, I literally stood there crying for her, for the love she had for that little boy that meant me being so involved, for the strength she was showing, for so many things. It was in that moment that I knew I couldn’t leave Jamie’s side until she told me to, which of course she did! She said “Go, go be with him!” I knew (at least I had hoped) that I would get to love him the rest of my life, so in that moment all I could do was look at Jamie with tears of admiration streaming.
They led me down the hall in the same hospital that 9 months to the day earlier we had met who we thought would be our 3rd son. In this moment Andy was still an hour away and the same delivery nurse from 9 months ago was helping me get ready to lay him on me skin to skin, barely 10 minutes old and the first smell he had was mine. The irony was surreal!
I knew Jamie’s hospital plan originally involved no contact with him while there. It wasn’t even an hour later and Jamie wanted to see us and HIM! I don’t know what changed her mind, but I love that she was so brave and when we walked in she wanted to hear all about how we were feeling. We spent time that night while Tru was getting checked out in the nursery just chatting, just the 3 of us. Three people who collectively love a life that Jamie hadn’t intended on, but bravely she knew he was intended to be a part of ours.
Jamie is one in a million and we are so glad she chose us to raise a piece of her!