My name is Kelsey. I am 27 years old. In May of 2018 I found myself in jail...again...
I was deep in my addiction, and the only support I had was Lance, my boyfriend at the time. I got out of jail, and went straight back to using. A few days later I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd child. Lance and I actually planned this pregnancy, we thought we would get sober and get back to our other children and live a stable life.
We were wrong. I used with our son Abel until I was 19 weeks pregnant. I got into a rehab, and prayed for strength, without my families support I knew it would be hard, but I did it. My family had to use tough love and 
I respect and love them for that. I contacted an adoption agency when I was around 25 weeks. I met with my advocate, I was honest about the drug use and shared my story. My older babies Kolby and Noble were and still are with my parents, temporary guardianship. I asked myself, "How can I give him the life he deserves if I'm not in a position to give his brother and sister the same?"
For the first time in a long time I wasn't thinking about myself, I chose Abel.
With the amount of drug exposure there was I had only ONE family to choose from. They told my advocate YES we want to meet Kelsey, and put it entirely in God's hands and chose to take whatever He handed them with open and loving arms. Adam and Lauren were on the waiting list for 3 years. They have 3 beautiful biological children. On January 7th 2019 God blessed us with our boy. Luke Abel was healthy, and so so so loved.
It was the hardest decision I have ever made, choosing adoption.
But I knew I had to be strong and set my emotions aside. We have an open adoption although they are in Illinois and I am in Oklahoma we make it work. Luke Abel was my saving grace. I am still trying to get on my feet but I am sober...and it feels so good.
Adoption is love. Adoption is selfless. Adoption is brave and I am birth mom strong.
