At BraveLove, we're dedicated to erasing the stigmas of adoption, and a big part of that involves sharing stories that honor birth mothers. As we all know, adoption impacts people forever. The journey isn't over after the decision has been made. That's why we love to stay connected with those who have shared their stories with BraveLove over the years, like Nacole.
Nacole and her husband Duane placed their daughter for adoption. Nacole shared her story with BraveLove about five years ago (see here). So we're catching up with her and learning what her life looks like these days.
How would you describe yourself today?
I am a wife to my wonderful husband Duane of 12 years. I am a very busy mom to three precious children. J.D. who is 16, MuRae who is 9, and Kynlee who is 8. I am a stay-at-home mom, and I get to enjoy being involved with the kid's school as I am on the PTA board.
What do your days look like?
Very busy! If I’m not at school doing things for PTA or volunteering, I’m usually running here and there or at the house cleaning and doing mama duties before the kids get out of school. I also try and keep myself available to attend or speak at adoption events. I enjoy sharing my story to anyone with an open ear.
Knowing what you know today, what would you tell yourself 5 years ago?
That sharing my adoption story helps women who are in a hot mess with an unplanned pregnancy just as I was 6 years ago. At the beginning of my adoption journey, I was scared to share my story out of fear of people being judgmental. Today, I am very open to sharing in hopes of it helping someone. I always like to go by my favorite quote: “Don’t be ashamed of your story. It will inspire others.”
What do you want the world to know about adoption?
Thanks for asking this question because this is something I felt at the beginning of my adoption journey I had to prove so that I would get the support from my family with my adoption plan that I needed. Adoption isn’t giving your child away just because you do not want the child or love the child. Adoption is LOVE, without love there is no adoption! Birth mothers love their baby so much that they put their hurt and pain aside so that their baby can have something a birth mother cannot provide. Without love there would not be any adoptive parents. You must have love to adopt a child. At the age of 34, I gained a new family that loves me so much. That new family is my birth daughter’s parents — all because of love!
What keeps you up at night?
If anything keeps me up at night it’s me trying to plan the next day out and making sure I’m not forgetting anything in my planner. And, of course, missing my husband since he works out of town most of the time.
What are you looking forward to this year?
I am looking forward to sharing my adoption story more and helping spread adoption so that more women know there is another option for an unplanned pregnancy. Like every year, I look forward to watching my children grow and being able to watch my birth daughter grow as we have an open adoption.
She also wrote an open letter to her daughter called To My Sweet Etta.