No One Knew — Haven's Story


My story is a little unconventional I guess...or maybe it's not.

My birth daughter, Sarah, is 19 now. When I was pregnant with her, I actually had worked with her mom, and she became a friend. She didn't know I was pregnant when they hired me, and I was doing pretty well at keeping that hidden.

As I got to know Debbie (her mom - the beautiful redhead in the pics!), she expressed how she and her husband were unable to have children and had been wanting to adopt but the waitlist was so long. I could not even begin to think that this was a coincidence. I went to lunch with Debbie one day and told her I was pregnant, and then asked if she and her husband would want to adopt my child. This was a little crazy because I hadn't even told my own parents yet!

No one knew. My dad was a pastor at a large church, and I was dealing with so much guilt and shame, and then worry about what people would think or say. I had just graduated high school, and my child's father was not in the picture. So I knew from the moment I found out I was pregnant that adoption was right for this baby. It was the fairest thing for her, and it was the greatest way I could show her how much I loved her.

I was not prepared to be a mother, and I wanted so much more for her. This was a painful conclusion to come to because all my life I had dreamed of being a mom.

Fast forward this story to last year. Sarah reached out to me via Instagram...I dropped my phone when I saw her friend request! 


She had all kinds of questions. I reached out to her mom as well, and we re-started our friendship right where it left off so many years ago.

My prayer every day from the day I placed her with her family was that she would not hate me for my decision to place her. God heard that request and he "one-upped" me!

Not only does she not hate me....she loves me, she loves her half-siblings, and she has become a part of my family.

Her mom Debbie and I joke often that this is just one bigger, happier family, and it truly is.


The day I drove away from that hospital in Charlotte, NC, I could not have ever imagined that this is how the story would go...that the Lord would do "Immeasurably MORE" (Ephesians 3:20) with this part of my story than I could have ever hoped for.

There is such beauty in adoption. My love for Sarah has never changed, and neither has my love for the woman who raised her, her mom, Debbie.

Sarah has four younger half-siblings whom she loves deeply, and they adore their big sister. It has been such an awesome experience to watch my younger children process it all, to come to understand adoption in it's most stunning form. My 12-year-old daughter would like to have children one way of adoption. This is what love is.




Haven is a full-time Realtor and mom of four sweet kids and one crazy Labrador retriever! She enjoys live music, working out, and spending time with family and friends. Life is good, Love wins, and Jesus is Everything! She is thankful for BraveLove for bringing light to a sometimes "dark" subject, for honoring birthmothers and their bravery. "It has been soul healing and such an encouragement to read the stories of other women who have walked this road...I only wish this had been around years ago — those were lonely days."

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