I have a rather unique perspective on adoption. In fact, I have two perspectives, one of a birth mother, and one of an adoptive mother. When I was a young teenager I became pregnant, and chose not to have an abortion. I knew, however, that I was unable to parent my child. So when she was born, I placed her in a loving, two-parent home. This was, by far, the most difficult choice to follow through with. I made my decision early on in my pregnancy. My mother helped me choose the couple, and I never questioned my decision, until the day she was born. After holding her, I knew that I wanted her more than anything, but my situation had not changed. There was no way I could keep her. I placed her with the couple that we had chosen, and after meeting them, I had a peace that this was the best home for her. Later in life, I married and had three wonderful sons. However, I still had a longing to raise my daughter. One of my friends had adopted through foster care and I realized that the loss of my daughter was directing me to do the same. My husband was supportive and so we began the process of becoming certified to do foster care, and eventually adopt. Our daughter was placed in our home when she was 4 years old. She had been in foster care since she was 10 months old, and we were her 5th placement. A year later we were able to make her a permanent member of our family. The process of our bonding and the experiences that I was able to have with her, brought so much healing, not only for me, but for her also. When my daughter, that I had placed for adoption turned 18, I contacted her family, giving them my contact information and hoped that some day she would want to contact me. It took a few months, but we eventually begain writing letters over then next few years. When she married and was pregnant with her first child, we progressed to phone calls. When her son was born, they were moving closer to where we lived, so we decided it was time to meet in person. Over the following 17 years, we have established a wonderful, loving relationship. I cannot imagine my life without either of my daughters in it! Adoption is such a blessing. Is it perfect? No. But, adoption is always a result of someone’s loss. There will always be healing that needs to take place, but it can be such a blessing!
